I'm finding the need to compose - nay, orchestrate - these words on freedom's twilight hours, before we are once more enslaved to school and its terrors, which can debilitate even the most halcyon spirits. On this fine day, my mind and ears have been egregiously obsessed on two songs, which I believe are capturing the state of mind I'm finding myself drowning in.
The first is Strawberry Swing - the song has a strong feeling that reminds me of daydreams, those fantasies you swear are palpable, perhaps so much you believe it to be true. The daydream, however, slowly and painfully ebbs away - we are rudely awakened by the responsibilities found on this earth: work, school, and finding a spouse to please our parents. And the song, I believe captures this atmosphere - where imaginations and ideals roam freely, if only for a little while. The song somewhat depresses me, I guess because I understood this song without really understanding its meaning - doesn't really make any sense, does it?
The second is Sparks - and with my friend's wedding in just several weeks, I can't help but question myself "Will I myself be married?" I don't think it's an aberration for a grown man to reflect on the prospects of marriage, but he shouldn't dismiss the possibility altogether, you know? Marriage, that in itself is a daunting concept - to devote you heart, mind, body and soul to just one person, the one you truly believe in the deepest crevices of your existance to be the JUST FOR YOU. And with marriage, you just don't "get together", YOUR BECOME ONE WITH YOUR OTHER and your little "get together" becomes a partnership, a life-support system, a union of two souls, or whatever you'd like to think of it. That's why your "partner" is referred to as a significant other - he/she is PARAMOUNT IN YOUR LIFE. It also translates to A PROMISE- a promise you have to carry out and be true to it, "in sickness and in health..." as it's frequently said. That's why A WEDDING IS A CEREMONY, not, say an ocasional meeting or a day-to-day occurrance. The wedding ceremony demonstrates your committment to the one just for you, and, by the ceremony's conclusion, your willingness to become one metamorphoses into that special promise you vow you'll never break. Unfortunately, such promises are frequently broken - 85% of them, in fact (but that's if you live in Sunny Cali) - because many men and women are only partially willing to devote only one or two of the four I've mentioned a while back. And where does that leave me when I got married? ONLY 15% OF HAVING A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE? No doubt that number will continually become slimmer! But I'm digressing once more; let's return to the song. I must admit: I have trouble deciphering the song: is the song for somebody, perhaps a conversation in progress, or even an introspective view of what's to come? All three ideas work flawlessly. Regardless, the song is lavishly simple and heavily romantic, in a meloncholy, yet meaningful way. It's a song that reminds me of two things: asking someone to be my girlfriend/fiancé or, strangely, a couple's wedding song. It's a song where its message can really reflect one's emotions and can be quoted genuinely. Despite the affirmation of love from one to the other, there's a caveat towards the end of the ballad, that, regardless of the great promises love offers, we will be let down and be disappionted of them from time to time. The disappiontment is a good thing, I think, because if a relationship was only sunshine and rainbows, then we're hiding or perhaps internalizing the negative aspects of the relationship: aspects that can be ameliorated or eliminated. My point is that every relationship MUST have its stormy weather, and this good-natured truth rings true in the song. For a while, I was fixated on the song, listening and reciting its words to my invisible lady friend (she says hello, by the way), who shares late night trips across three cities on mundane & insipid errands across my home town. For a while, I too envisioned myself waltzing to this song, with my arms surrounding her, and lips reciting the dichotomic message of affirmation and disappiontment. I wonder just where that leaves me on the social ladder: pathetic loser or hopeless romantic?
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