April 15, 2016
Dearly Beloved,
"April showers bring May flowers..." - is that how the saying goes? Still, I can't believe it's Spring again. I'm looking forward to the rains once more. I always have fun whenever we'd traipse about the city in rain. Life just seems more bearable, enjoyable even. Of course, I'm constantly imprisoned in this 5x5 cell of an office cubicle, so what do I know? You'll have to forgive me; I'm feeling quite pessimistic at the moment. I blame the rain for this. You know, for some reason, the rain tends to reveal the worst of people - they are inexorably colder, bitter, impatient. There's seems to be no end to such attitudes. However, I've got someone that won't imitate their attitudes. I've got you. That's all that matters to me right now. In fact, I'm writing this as I work - I have a bit of downtime before things pick up again. By the way, I'm still taking my breaks on the roof, so it'll be interesting to see a more grittier cityscape, don't you think so?
Of course, it doesn't always rain in April. The warm, golden sun mixed with cool breezes makes for such a perfect blend, creating days that leave an indelible mark on the senses. I'm eagerly waiting for the day that we can share one together. There's an old city park that I want to take you to, the one that I've told you about. I've gone there countless times growing up, but it's been so long since I've been there that I'm not too sure if it'll be recognizable to me anymore. Now that I think about it, I wonder if JB's Burgers can still be found just down the avenue from the park. It's my personal favorite burger joint. You haven't had a burger and a milkshake until you've had them a JB's. I promise you'll love the food there. Oh, then there's Zoltar the Fortune-Teller ("Fortunes for quarters; I love quarters! Give me a quarter and I'll read your palm!")! He's the main attraction over there. By placing your palm on a faux crystal ball, Zoltar would "assess" certain traits (like love, friendship, creativity). It isn't meant to be taken seriously, but somewhere in the labrynth of the mind, you end up doing so. I know I did. At first, I did poorly, and my brothers would tease me about it. It was embarrassing, because my brothers, who were younger than me, fared much better with Zoltar.
Over the years, however, I didn't improve at all and I became afraid this consistency. Would I someday be able to discover love? Build friendships? Express creativity? At first, I wanted to prove Zolatar wrong, that I can love, that I do have friends, and so on. But somewhere along the years, that reassurance shifted, and I wanted to prove to myself that I was able to. You know, I've never told anybody about this. This was going to be a secret I'd carry to my grave. Of course, it's funny now to see how much I believed in a counterfeit fortune-teller. Nonetheless, that fear was just all too real. And in the end, I like to think that I was able to find peace with myself. I've realized how much just I have accomplished with you by my side and the discoveries of love and life we've made together. I don't need Zoltar or anyone else to tell me that.
In the end, I don't think I changed much in Zoltar's eyes, and I'm ok with that. I'm simply eager to show you glimpses of my past. More importantly still, I'm waiting for that perfect afternoon to share with you.
With a love warm as the April sun,
Your Lover
