March 27, 2015
Dearly Beloved,
In a couple of days, it will become our three-year anniversary, and I am, shamefully, surprised that we made it this far. After all, nobody ever commits for a year these days, let alone for three. So, instead of having a cheap and tawdry celebration, let's go all out! Let's spare no expense! Three years in this modern age is like a lifetime in the older days. So why not? I know how we'll celebrate - the idea popped in my head when I visited the city park earlier this afternoon.
Today I was given only a half-day of work, a rare occasion, as you and I both know. At first, I was eager to go to our home, prepare a small meal, with music playing in the background, and slumber the afternoon away. However, as soon as I stepped inside our vacant house, something didn't feel right. Our home was missing something. It was missing you. Thus, our tiny home, our one safe hedge from the dangerous world, became a cavernous castle. Every room transfromed into a labrynth, a dungeon, a maze. Footsteps echoed vacuously against the tile floors, and I've had enough. I had to get out. I couldn't find the exit. Couldn't find the exit. But I did. Somehow, I managed to escape. Was I afraid? Was I lonely? Perhaps, perhaps not. All I know was that if I didn't leave the house, I probably wouldn't have had that daydream I mentioned earlier. I probably wouldn't even be writing about this at all!
Now, with wallet, keys and iPod in my pockets (how I managed to find them in my delirious paranoia, I do not know), I set off for a long and much-needed walk in our bustling cityscape. I meandered for a while, and I was given much time, time that I wasn't supposed to have, to appreciate the puffs of clouds in the sky so blue, the light breeze that tugs at my shirt to and fro, and the myriad faces of people that make this city feel so alive and well. I guess spending so much of my week trapped in a 5-by-5 terrazo office crunching numbers makes me miss out on the tiny imperfections and details of the daily life. From tomorrow on, I promise to take more breaks on the roof of my work building, that way I can have clear view of the citycscape below me and the sky so blue above me, and, in the spirit of a New Year's resolution I made two years ago, I will become more aware of what's around me. Though now I'm digressing (and I always am, aren't I?), but you don't mind, do you?
After pacing along the concrete, I finally reached our city's crown jewel - the memorial park. It's the one place where we can leave the stresses of this world behind in the grey, the one place where romantic fantasies and delusions overtake us, and in the end, we make promises we both are too afraid to commit to. After all, we can't just up and leave everything behind, can't we? Not after we worked so hard to get this far. Still, wouldn't it be nice to run away from it all? I sat in shade nearby the fountain, placed conspicously in the center of the park. Still, thin rays of sun percied the weak canopy of the trees, gently kissing my exposed forearms and face. I really wanted you by my side, sharing this calm afternoon with me.
Which finally (and I know you've been waiting for this) brings up the daydream. The sky was a clear blue earlier today, did you notice? The clouds above lethargically crawl, leaving faint splotches of shadow across the green acres. The few flowers that aren't marred by footsteps are dancing in the wind. It's peaceful, and I don't want to end. There was a small dandelion beside me and, with amourous feelings building up inside me (I blame the park for this, though, should I be thanking it instead?), I couldn't help but imagine you donning an elegant dress of such warm color, though I think you'll be more divine in appearace with lavender. From there, everything else just fell into place.
We were hosting a small and formal potluck garden party in our backyard, with all 30-something of our closest friends there to celebrate this joyous occassion with us. All of the men looked like penguins, with bow ties, arm cuffs, and small hints of cologne. The women were royalty and goddesses in the flesh, decorated with smooth pearls and luminous jewelry. Each accessory seemed to compliment and accentuate each woman's natural flare and beauty. Robert at first believed this to be a masquerade ("Why am I the only one with a mask?"), but was disappointed when he found it wasn't. Nonetheless, he will wear the mask - as a "conversation starter", he says. And you know it'll be classy when champagne, a string quartet, and chocolate fountains are involved. White Christmas lights hugged every tree in our backyard, and the colored lights zig-zagged across the open sky, latched upon fences and poles nearby. Some Chinese lanterns were hung out spaciously, to set the mood and bring a sense of wonder to our party. Food, enterntainment, and the chocolate fountains were there: our party was ready to begin.
Some time later, I saw us dancing, or rather, gently swaying to the music that fills the backyard. With my hand on your waist, I pull you in, studying the tiny imperfections of your beautiful face. I couldn't help by smile the most childish smile, a smile that I foolishly let slip into the real world. I lean in, closely, and I whisper gently into your ear. You laugh so richly for a moment, before you sigh the laughter away. Our hands move, with yours hooking my neck and mine sitting at your waist. We are still swaying, though now the music is now over. The soft buzzing of chatter, harsh clinks of glass, and the occasional crescendo of laughter is now our music. Our foreheads connect and for a moment, your eyes dart from mine. You're not used to seeing me so close without sharing a kiss. Were you blushing? I think you were, and I couldn't help but laugh at this. You laugh as well, and your eyes dart from mine once again, with a subtle bite of the lip. I pull back and place a tender kiss on your forehead. You lean closer and plant a harder kiss on my lips. We both have stopped swaying.
It's late afternoon now, with the once lively blue sky is now a sleepy amber. The world seems to be slowing down, a moment's respite, before the nightlife rejuvinates the city. I've never seen our city like this and I hope to show you someday. As reluctant I am to leave, I pick myself up, as well as the yellow dandelion that was beside me, and head back home. At the edge of the park, I take one last look. Children's squeals of joy are still filling the air, the splotchy shadows are gone, and the fountain has stopped running for the day. Everything was almost the same as I got here - it's almost as if I was never here at all. It's just the way I like it.
With love that will forever dance,
Your Lover
